101 dirty dumb blonde jokes

Warning! Adults Only!

1. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
2. Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have? A: The one that never misses a period.
3. Q: What do blondes say after sex? A: "Thanks, guys!".
4. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic? A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
5. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic.
6. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men.
7. Q: How does a horny guy spell relief? A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
8. Q: Why was the Blonde Girl smiling as she walked down the marriage aisle?
A: Cos she knew she'd given her last Blow job.
9. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's Licence?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
10. Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common? A: Both contain a cockpit.
11. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: "Great Tits!!!"
12. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll?
A: Around 2 cans of hair spray.
13. Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp?
A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.
14. Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks? A: Cos she's been laid all over the country.
15. Q: What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team.
16. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer?
A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet.
17. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes?
A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends.
18.Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe.
19. Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.
20. Q: Why is a blonde like a shotgun?
A: Give her a cock and she'll be ready to blow.
21. Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
22. Q: What does a blonde look like after sex? A: No idea mate. I'm already long gone....
23. Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe.
24. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
25. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Cuz everyone gets a turn.
26.Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello"
27. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"? A: She loved to get filled with Cream.
28. Q: In a Blonde's mind what is long and hard? A: Grade 4.
29. Q: Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a Coppers Horse?
A: So she won't shit on the street during a rally.
30. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.
33. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door.
34. Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde lesbian? A: Well, she kept having affairs with men.
35. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and most men? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
37. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
38. Q: When visiting Scotland, what is a Blonde's favorite destination?
A: Silicon Glen
39. Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
40. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
41. Q: What would a blonde use for protection during sex? A: A bus shelter.
43. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? A: From dating blonde men.
44. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? A: They both drip when they're fucked.
45. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
46. Q: Why does a blond have T.G.I.F. on the front of her shirt? A: Tits Go In Front.
47. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
48. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read.
50. Q: What's the blonde's idea of dental floss? A: Pubic hair.
51. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
52. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers.
53. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week!
54. Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common? A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one
55. Q: What's the difference between a blonde on her back and a turtle on it's back?
A: Absolutely Nothing - both are totally screwed!
57. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.
58. Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees? A: Come.
59. Q: What do you call a brunette and 4 sexy blondes on a corner?
A: You don't, you see if you've got 4 condoms.
60. Q: What do a blonde and an instant win lottery ticket have in common?
A: Simply scratch the box to win.
61. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
62. It's important to realise that Blondes can't go water-skiing - when their crotch gets wet they think they gotta lay down.
63. It's even more important to realise the big difference
between blondes and bitches - a blonde will screw anyone, whilst a bitch will screw anyone but you.
64. It's worth remembering why blondes can't count to 70 - it's cos 69 is already a bit of a mouthful.
65. Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PHd in Psychology? A: She'll blow your mind, too.
66. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo? A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo!
67. Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin?
A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
68. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
70. Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right? A: As if they've ever met!
71. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all bitch.
72. Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair? A: They pull up their pants.
73. Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
74. Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.
75. Q: What did the blonde girl call her baby when she wanted to name him after where the baby was conceived?
A: Cortina.
76. Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.
77. Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...? A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
78. Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator?
A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.
79. Q: What's a 68 to a blonde?
A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
80. Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties? A: Clitty litter.
81. Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room?
A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down.
82. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Because their balls would show.
83. Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100? A: A foursome.
84. Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: Vaseline and Poligrip.
85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces.
86. Q: What is a bellybutton for?
A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.
87. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet fuck all.
88. Q: Why did the blonde give a b*** job after sex? A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.
89. Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
90. Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down.
91. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank? A: Her employer found that she was embezzling.
92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
93. Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth?
A: Einstein's d**k.
94. Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails? A: A blow job with handlebars.
95. Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick? A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"
96. Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex? A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.
97: Q: How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
98. Q: What does XXX stand for? A: Blondes co-signing a note.
99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.
100. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
101. Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.